We’re back to reviewing the nice list today. Let me remind you what living intentionally for God looks like.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23, ESV).
Today God wants us to embrace self-control!
True Story Ahead
I set my alarm extra early today (4:30 a.m.) so that I could give myself more time to prepare the daily post. For the last month, it’s been difficult for various reasons to accomplish this assignment and still make it to work on time (without stress).
So last night I decided I could make yet another adjustment: wake up even earlier.
Committing to this 40 Days of Intentional Living for me has meant practicing self-control.
You all know how I feel about my sleep, that I consider myself NOT a morning person. This 40 Days of Intentional Living is challenging me in intense ways and self-control is probably at the top of the priority list to stay committed to this journey. If I didn’t commit to restraining myself from turning off my alarm and continuing to sleep, none of the posts would have resulted.
Last week I worried about getting up and completing the writing before heading to work extra early on March 30. I had an all-day training I was facilitating. I was concerned I wouldn’t be able to do it.
One of the women in my Bible study group asked me if I could write it the night before. And I said, “No. The deal is God wants me to listen for His instructions “first” thing in the morning and then research and write.”
This assignment has taken self-control.
Self-Control
Self-control is restraint exercised over your own impulses, emotions, or desires.
Getting control over your own feelings and actions requires self-discipline and willpower.
“God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7, ESV).
God has given us knowledge of His ways. He wants us to live self-controlled lives so that we may share in His divine nature. In doing so we escape the corruption that’s in the world because of evil desires (2 Peter 1:4).
Lack of Self-Control
Lack of self-control is not controlling your own actions, impulses, or emotions.
There are people who have very little self-control. What immediately comes to mind: toddlers! If you’ve ever been around a two-year old, you know these little people stomp their feet, cry, scream, and carry on in all sorts of ways to get what they want. Recently I saw a friend’s Facebook post about her preschool-aged daughter who had a major crying fit because she wanted syrup for breakfast, just syrup!
I know adult toddlers! And we can and probably all have acted just like my friend’s daughter from time to time. It’s just when you see an adult crying and carrying on like that you wonder how in the world they think that’s acceptable.
It’s not!
“A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls” (Proverbs 25:28, ESV).
I did a quick search for “lack of self-control” in my handy thesaurus and guess what word popped up? Naughty!
Here are some other words to describe lack of self-control:
- Unruly
- Untrained
- Headstrong
- Defiant
- Insubordinate
Please don’t be an adult toddler. It’s not very pretty.
Who is supposed to be self-controlled?
Everyone!
God wants everyone to be self-controlled:
- Older men (Titus 2:2)
- Older Women (1 Timothy 2:9)
- Younger Women (Titus 2:4-5)
- Younger Men (Titus 2:6).
So, no one is exempt from this list except maybe toddlers and preschoolers because they are just learning how to be trained. For those of us older than 5 or 6, we need to practice self-control.
Crazy Research Results
So I came across a study that revealed self-control or the lack of self-control is contagious.
“Researchers have found that watching or even thinking about someone with good self-control makes others more likely exert self-control. The researchers found that the opposite holds, too, so that people with bad self-control influence others negatively. The effect is so powerful, in fact, that seeing the name of someone with good or bad self-control flashing on a screen for just 10 milliseconds changed the behavior of volunteers.”
How crazy is that?
So here’s the take away from that research:
“Picking social influences that are positive can improve your self-control.”
Proverbs 13:20 is true:
“The one who walks with the wise will become wise, but a companion of fools will suffer harm.”
It takes wisdom to be self-controlled.
Practical Application
“We need to realize that we are in control of our choices, no matter how we feel.”- Dr. Henry Cloud
Yes, we are!
So here are some ways we can intentionally live self-controlled lives today:
Choose to hang out with people who you know exercise self-control.
John Maxwell says, “Good intentions are not good enough.” Put some words of intentional living into your life:
- Action
- Purpose
- Today
- Strategy
- I will
- Discipline
Make a list of the habits and behaviors you want to control. Choose one of those behaviors. Research it. Take an honest inventory of yourself. Set realistic goals. Measure your progress. Tell someone what you are struggling with and ask that person if he/she would help hold you accountable.
Motivate yourself.
I highly recommend reading these books for more resources to help you learn how to live self-controlled lives and motivate yourself:
- Boundaries by Cloud and Townsend
- The Power of a Positive No by Ury
- Intentional Living by Maxwell
Be intentional about being self-controlled today. Remember good intentions are not enough. We need to choose self-control.
As for me, I’m going to embrace self-control to continue getting up earlier for the remaining days of this 40 Days of Intentional Living. Trust me when I say, waking up at 4:30 a.m. for me is not my personal desire. My personal desire is to sleep in. Nevertheless, I desire to please God and obey Him, so I’m putting some action behind that desire and setting my alarm early.
I’m also going to keep trying this freshly-squeezed lemon water even though I didn’t notice a change in my alertness after drinking it today. After all I did purchase a 5 lb. bag of lemons at Costco, so I guess I’m committed.
Just for Today
Refrain from Losing Control. Embrace Self-Control!
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