Imperfectly Me

Happy New Year! We’ve completed one week of 2018. I don’t know about you, but my first week of 2018 has been a full-on force of embracing who I am, imperfectly me.

True Story Ahead

On New Year’s Day, my husband and I embraced a difficult conversation about some struggles we’ve been having. The imperfect Michelle came out. Ugh!

Then day three of January, imperfect Michelle came out again during a difficult conversation with a colleague. Ugh!

Then on the sixth of January, the imperfect Michelle came out again. There was yet another difficult conversation, this time with my youngest daughter. Ugh!

I could have thought, “This year sucks!”

Rather, I decided to embrace imperfect Michelle and admit I have challenges. While practicing self-control, patience, courage, compassion, connection, boundaries, and listening, something amazing happened.

All three relationships I had difficult conversations with this week turned forward moving and resolutions happened.

This week has been both challenging and rewarding.

Growth in relationships will always include difficult conversations. We can’t have growing, healthy relationships without trudging through the difficult imperfections. This leads me to tell you about my goals based on my imperfections.

Wholehearted Living

Living a wholehearted life is one of my life’s overarching goals. I admit it’s just been within the last year I became aware of the term “wholehearted,” but I know I’ve been trying to live this way even without having a word for it. Thanks to Brené Brown, I now have a word to communicate what one big goal for my whole life is: wholehearted living.

“Wholehearted living is not a onetime choice. It is a process.” Brené Brown, from The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are.

Through Brown’s books, I also have more understanding about this thing I’ve been trying to do, and I’m learning why sometimes I get frustrated, and yes, discouraged, in life.

Embracing Imperfection

It’s okay to admit we’re imperfect. Admitting that doesn’t negate that we’re also important and have value. As Brown would say, we’re also “brave and worthy of love and belonging.”

However, admitting we’re imperfect also doesn’t give us permission to excuse or justify our bad habits or behaviors or not invest in our own development or the development of others.

Admitting we’re imperfect means we have work to do, but we also need to remember we’re on a journey. Becoming the best of me is a process. Becoming the best of you, is also a process.

I’ve set many goals for myself for 2018. Some are a continuation from previous years because I’m on a journey to increase my talents and decrease the stuff hindering me and others in my life.

I don’t know if seeing some of my goals will inspire you to create some of your own, but I thought, well, it might encourage and inspire you. If nothing else, you’ll see just how imperfect I am and maybe that will help you feel like you’re not alone in this journey of life.

Michelle’s 2018 Goals

I embrace New Year’s goals rather than New Year’s resolutions. At both the beginning and ending of every year, I’m intentional about creating space for myself to focus on my goals. I pray for, think about, and write out my goals. Because living a wholehearted life is an overarching goal, I have goals for every area of my life. I recognize some goals serve more than one area and all goals integrate into who I’m desiring to become.

As long as imperfect Michelle is breathing in this world, I believe God wants me to both keep investing in the talents He’s given me and keep managing my challenges. That means I have to become aware of both.

I’m not perfect. No one is. I’m also not you, and you are not me. We all have talents and challenges to who we are. These should motivate us to work on increasing our talents and decreasing the not-so-good parts of who we are.

While I’m not going to list all of my goals for 2018, here are some of my wholehearted living goals for 2018:

Spiritual

• Deep study of God’s Word (daily)
• Pray fiercely (daily)
• Memorize Scripture (weekly). Okay, seriously, if my son can memorize 206 bones and all seven plus parts of each bone, then I can memorize some Bible verses this year. Enough excuses for not memorizing, Michelle!
• Attend church service (weekly)
• Spend time with spiritual mentor (bi-weekly)

Relational

• Pray with husband (daily)
• Date with husband (weekly)
• Spend time with my grandson (weekly)
• Spend time with my children (weekly)
• Spend time with favorite friends (ongoing and set dates)

Financial

• Pay off one credit card (Ugh! I hate I did this again. I have more than one and it discourages me. Dave Ramsey would be so disappointed in me!)
• Save money (monthly)
• Review Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps (January/February)

Emotional

• Practice self-control (especially with listening) (daily)
• Engage with courage, compassion, and connection (daily)
• Focus on the good stuff (Philippians 4:8) (daily)

Physical

• Complete Whole30 Program (January)
• Exercise three times each week (on-going) – Ouch, I’m sore! Why did I stop exercising in 2017?
• Lose 8-10 pounds (Depending on the scale I use, that’s what I gained in 2017. Ugh!) (March 1)
• Get 8 hours of sleep (daily) – So far, I have not accomplished this, but there’s always a new day to start!

Professional

• Complete Gallup’s Strength Coach Certification (January)
• Design a one-hour workshop (March 1)
• Practice time management – staying within allotted time (Okay, this has always been a challenge for me. While I’ve made great strides over the years, in 2018 I’m going to be even more intentional about setting boundaries to manage both beginnings and endings.)

Personal

• Read (or re-read and listen to) all of Brené Brown books
• Practice Both/Ands
• Strengthen my storytelling skills

There you have it. I have a lot of things to improve and learn as well as many things to manage and reduce this year.

I guess I’m starting another year imperfectly me.

That’s okay. Life’s a journey, not a onetime event. I’m willing to admit I’m imperfect, but I’m not willing to surrender my pursuit of wholehearted living.

I hope you’ll join me this year and embrace who you are and choose to live wholeheartedly.