32 Ways to Say “I Do”

For 32 years I’ve been saying “I Do.” That’s over 11,600 days of “I Do.” From September 6, 1986 to September 6, 2018, I’ve carried out my wedding vows for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. Over these years, I’ve learned a few things about marriage. I can think of no better day than today to share some of the lessons I’ve learned and how I’ve actually lived “I Do.”

True Story Ahead

I saw him shirtless on the tennis court. Tan, bulging muscles captured my attention. I had never seen a man with biceps like this before, at least not in person. David Cassidy, my teenage celebrity crush, had nothing compared to the one my eyes saw for the first time in September 1982. Who knew one day I’d marry the man with the bulging biceps.

Four years after the first look, I married Bob Barringer. For over half my life now, my marriage to Bob is the most important relationship in this world to me, except for the one I have with Jesus, my Lord and Savior.

Marriage is a commitment. When I pledged myself to the man with the bulging biceps, I committed to “I Do” till death. I just didn’t know what I didn’t know when I said my vows. Now I know.

Bulging biceps and tiny waists do not carry out the “I Do” in marriage. They are the “extras” not the essentials to a healthy and happy marriage.

There are unlimited ways to carry out “I Do” in marriage, but today, I’m going to share 32 random ways I’ve said “I Do” over the last 32 years.

I do:

1. Pray for the man with the bulging biceps Every. Single. Day.
2. Cook, although not well. I burn a lot of things.
3. Clean our house, but I that doesn’t include making our bed. I have standards, you know.
4. Dishes.
5. Hold his hand when sick. I held his hand a lot during his stem cell transplant.
6. Buy “special” clothing for, you know, “special” evenings, when the lights go down low. (Sorry kids, I know you don’t want to know this information. TMI right?)
7. Wear the “special” clothing too. (Kids, just close your eyes, plug your ears, and say “La-la-la-la!”)
8. Shave my legs (and pluck my chin now).
9. Pay our bills on time.
10. Watch action films when I’d rather watch a romantic comedy.
11. Attend musical concerts of his choice (like Elvis Costello).
12. Eat healthy (most of the time).
13. Exercise.
14. Beer flights with him because he likes beer (I don’t).
15. Appreciate his work ethic and loyalty to working a difficult job for almost 30 years. (He’s a probation officer.)
16. Let him pick up dog poop. (Come on, this is funny!)
17. Listen to him talk about politics (I just have more time boundaries now.)
18. Brainstorm ideas with him.
19. Let him collect things (albums, CDs, digital music, stereo equipment, albums, CDs, albums).
20. Argue (not proud of this one, and I have learned this should not be on the “I Do” list, so read the next one for a better way to “I Do.”)
21. Difficult conversations with the intent of understanding and solving problems.
22. Manage our household paperwork, budget, and schedule.
23. Call plumbers, contractors, handymen, and electricians to help repair our home.
24. Work to help financially support our family.
25. Vacations with the man with the bulging biceps.
26. Let the man with the bulging biceps spend many of his birthdays with his mom, who he shares his birthday with. She lives in Florida.
27. Celebrate birthdays, holidays, and anything worth celebrating, which is a lot.
28. Say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I was wrong.”
29. Forgive him Every. Single. Time. for Every. Single. Thing.
30. Parent with him three amazing children from infants to adults. Yes, it’s an ongoing assignment. Once a parent, always a parent.
31. Patience (better now than in many previous years).
32. Respect the man with the bulging biceps in many ways, but one in particular I want to call out: I set boundaries. I’ve allowed no other man to be my confidant, companion, best friend, or lover.

I hope you’ve noticed that “I Do” is action. Our marital vows are action. It’s our commitment to our spouse in action.

 Whatever your lips utter you must be sure to do, because you made your vow freely to the LORD your God with your own mouth. ~ Deuteronomy 23:23

I didn’t just make these vows to the LORD, I also made them to my husband.

I admit, some days have been more difficult than other days over 32 years, but always my vows, my promise, my word has been my foundation on which I stand.

I say them again today to the man with the bulging biceps:

“I, Michelle take thee, Bob, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I pledge myself to you.”

Happy Anniversary, Bob! Here’s to our 32 years of marriage and to many more years of happy and healthy “I Do’s.”

Sorry, ladies, no pictures of my man’s bulging biceps. Those are for me only.