How to Live Love Well

Fruit of the Spirit Series

Live love well. These words gently instruct us how Jesus wants us to live. But if we don’t know what love is and what it isn’t, how are we going to know how to live love well?

If we have the whole world, but not love, well, friend, we actually have nothing. We’ve gained nothing, not one single thing (1 Corinthians 13:3). At the end of our life, whenever that moment happens, and it will happen for each of us, nothing else will matter if we do not have love. 

First Corinthians 13:13 says, “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” Love is the greatest, friend! It should be no surprise that love is the first fruit of the Spirit listed in Galatians 5:22-23: 

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

This is why we begin our fruit of the Spirit series with love and why I think the list of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 begins with love. Nothing else will matter if we do not understand more about love and truly pursue planting and nurturing love in our hearts for the glory of Jesus.

God is Love

“And we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and the one who remains in love remains in God, and God remains in him” (1 John 4:16, CSB).

Love is God and God is Love. Without God, we don’t have love. Without love we don’t have God. It’s impossible to live love well without God. 

So how do we love others well so that they experience the love of Jesus through us?

It starts with receiving love ourselves. First and foremost, we each need to fully receive Jesus’ love. His love needs to permeate our heart, soul, and mind.

Our hearts should be rejoicing every morning when we wake. He’s ready to pour more of His love into us, filling us not just to the brim, but overflowing. We simply need to receive His love.

Then, when we encounter others in whatever capacity, they can experience the love of Jesus through us. I haven’t always done that well, but when I do, I know Jesus’ love splashes out onto them. When we pray, “Lord, love well through me,” amazing things happen.

A couple of years ago, I listened to a book entitled, Imagine Heaven by John Burke. Burke presents his case for Jesus and heaven. After reading hundreds of Near Death Experiences (NDE), Burke began digging deep into how these people’s experiences compared to what Scripture says about heaven and Jesus.

As I listened to this book, one major thought tugged at my heart repeatedly:  When I get to heaven and Jesus asks me, “Did you love well, Michelle?” I want to be able to answer “Yes!” 

I really want to live love well for the rest of my life. Love is the motivator of my life. I haven’t always loved well, and I still struggle daily sometimes, but as I look to my future, my moment standing before Jesus, I long to hear Him say, “You loved well, Michelle!”

How about you? Do you ever think about when you die and have your first conversation with Jesus? Have you ever thought that He might ask you how well you loved Him and others? 

If the Bible tells us we gain nothing if we have not love, the chances are pretty high that Jesus will address love with us when we finally see Him face to face. Love is what matters most to Jesus.

The good news is that Jesus already has addressed love with us. In His Word, the Bible, He tells us about love. There are over 700 Bible verses about love. Let’s look at a couple of those verses to help us understand love.

What Love Is and What Love Is Not

Many people think 1 Corinthians 13 as the love chapter because this Scripture tells us some things that love is and some things that love is not:

“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, ESV)

This Scripture tells us:

• Love is patient. 
• Love is kind. 
• Love rejoices with the truth. 
• Love bears all things. 
• Love hopes all things. 
• Love endures all things. 

This same Scripture tells us:

• Love does not envy. 
• Love does boast. 
• Love is not arrogant. 
• Love is not rude. 
• Love does not insist on its own way. 
• Love is not irritable. 
• Love is not resentful. 
• Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing (sin).

The two lists are intermingled in this Bible passage. Too often we may miss some significant information if we don’t dissect it a little. This is why I created two groups. 

A Time to Plant Love – Ecclesiastes 3:2b

In order to know what to plant and how nurture love in ourselves and others, we need to know a little more about what love is. 

Love is patient – bearing pain and trials without complaining. How often we do complain? I’ve been guilty probably every single day. How often are we steadfast when we are suffering or going through a difficult time? Do we complain or sigh when a child asks to have the same book read for the tenth time in one hour? How about a coworker who challenges you? Do you ever complain about that person or do you bear it without complaining?

Love is kind – Are we helpful, gentle, and affectionate even when others are not to us? Are we sympathetic to others? Do we have compassion for others? Do we set aside our desires for someone else’s desire? Probably not as much as we should.

When is the last time we had a gentle response to someone rather than an angry and annoyed response? Sometimes not saying anything is kindness, especially if what you are going to say is hurtful.

Love rejoices with truth – Do we celebrate truth? Jesus said that He’s the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6). If we believe that, we should be celebrating. But the truth reveals things that maybe we don’t want to celebrate. Do we criticize or celebrate truth?

Love bears all things – This means to endure patiently. Do we endure patiently all things? I can honestly say I have not, which means I have not always lived love well.

Love hopes all things – Do we really wait with joy and all confidence in all things? In other words, do we trust Jesus in all things? Love does. Love brings hope. 

Love endures all things – Do we bravely and calmly persevere all things? If you’re like me, the answer is no. But we can nurture courage and perseverance in our lives so love grows more.

Jesus told His disciples, “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

We can nurture the love that Jesus puts in us to grow in patience and kindness so that we celebrate truth rather than criticize it. We can grow in love. As we grow, our love will mature. If we live love well, everyone will know we are Christ followers. 

A Time to Uproot Love’s Weeds- Ecclesiastes 3:2b

What are the weeds that try to strangle love in our life and in the lives of those assigned to us?

One of the first weeds is complaining. When we are impatient, snapping at people, or honking our horns, we are complaining. Try instead to not say a thing. Don’t honk your horn. Instead, pray a prayer of blessing for those ahead of you in line. 

Malice is a weed. Did you know that envy is a form of malice? It’s a resentful awareness of an advantage that someone else has that’s joined by a desire within you to want the same advantage. 

In Ephesians 4:31, we are instructed to “Get rid of… every form of malice.” Every form of malice needs to be uprooted. Envy is a form of malice and it’s a weed that strangles love.

That means if we have any desire for anyone else to suffer, we need to get rid of that desire. If we have a persistent hatred or dislike toward someone (or group of people) and we express our dislike or hatred in malicious conduct, that’s not love.

Envy is a deadly weed to our soul, and it won’t just snuff out our love, but it will spread and start strangling love in others too.

Have you ever held a grudge toward someone? That is not love. That is a weed that needs to be yanked from its root and thrown into the fire.

Holding grudges indicates an unforgiving heart. We know now that love bears all things. Even when someone sins against us or others we care about, we need to let it go. In other words:  forgive. 

Love does not hold a grudge. Love forgives. Think about Jesus on the cross. He had every right to hold a grudge, but what did He do instead? Forgive.

There are also many forms of pride, and arrogance is just one form. God hates pride (Proverbs 6:16-19), but “He gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6).

Self-centeredness and selfishness are weeds. When we find ourselves being self-absorbed and rude, weeds have started growing in our hearts and minds trying to overtake love. It’s time uproot anything that causes us to be selfish and rude. 

So how do we get rid of these weeds so that we can live love well?

To live love well, we need the power of Jesus Christ. Here is how He’s helped me get rid of some weeds. I have my part in this weeding process and so will you.

First, we need to identify the weeds immediately, ask Jesus to forgive us, and then intentionally stop behaving in those sinful ways. We also need to ask Jesus to help us stop. 

I remember well the first time the Holy Spirit revealed to me being irritable with others was sin. Jesus listened to all of my excuses and justifications. Then He gently reminded me that love is not irritable. 

In James 4:17, it says that “If anyone knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is a sin for them.” That means when the Holy Spirit revealed to me that love is not irritable and I behaved in an irritable way, that was sin for me. 

Now, I’m sharing with you, so now you know too that love is not irritable. Love is not rude. Love is not selfish or self-centered.

Love does not want others to suffer. Love does not honk impatiently at others just because the light turned green. Love does not hold on to the sin that others do to us or to others we love. 

When we act these ways, we are sinning. These are the weeds that are trying to steal, destroy, and kill love in us. We need to uproot these weeds as soon as we notice them.

Ever since, the Holy Spirit revealed to me that behaving irritably is wrong, whenever I begin to feel irritated, I identify it for what it is. If I don’t address it immediately, it grows quickly and spreads its ugliness to others. Then I’m not living love well.

In fact, when I’m irritable with someone, I’m not actually loving them at all.

There are ways to overcome, to uproot these weeds. Sometimes I need to sit with Jesus, pray, praise, and pause until the irritability is removed and He fills me with love again. Most of the time, when I address it immediately, it’s gone within a few short minutes. 

Sometimes, I need to remove myself entirely from the situation or person(s) who are starting to bring out the worst in me.

I have a responsibility to obey Jesus first. If that means I need to walk away from a situation or person so that I can gain control again, uproot whatever weeds are popping up, that’s what I need to do. This is what we all need to do. 

Try it the next time you feel irritated or find yourself being rude or self-absorbed. Give Jesus a chance to help you uproot these weeds. Allow Jesus to help you live love well.

Weeds Grow Fast

It’s amazing how fast some weeds grow. One day they aren’t there, the next day they are, like dandelions. If we don’t cut them out immediately, they spread. Then our whole yard is filled with weeds. Same thing happens with the weeds that are meant to strangle love.

Unfortunately, some of these weeds will keep popping up because our soil is not what it should be to keep them away or we are allowing them to grow. But it’s our job to identify, repent, and ask Jesus to help us stop sinning. 

We need to get the weeds under control so that others will be able to identify us as Christ followers. If they see a lot of weeds growing in us, then Jesus’ love is not shining through us like He wants it to. Weeds need to be uprooted so that the fruit of the Spirit of love can freely grow and bless others.

Each day presents an opportunity to live love well. 

Remember, love is patient. Love is kind. Love forgives. Love is gentle, kind, and compassionate. Love unites.

We need to ask Jesus for more of His love to be manifested in our hearts so that love can grow more abundantly each day. Love needs to be tended to, encouraged, and nurtured. And the weeds need to be yanked out of our lives so that they can’t grow and strangle the love in our hearts.

“Love becomes the mark of true maturity” for God’s people (Colossians 3:14). May the love of Jesus richly fill us and help us to become fully mature, capable of living love well.