All day I’ve been facilitating a new employee orientation for my day job. Throughout the day, I kept thinking about new habits. How do we form new habits? I even grabbed a post-it note and jotted down some thoughts about new habits. I’ve come up with three steps to form new habits.
1. Know Our Purpose
When we are trying to change a routine and form a new habit, we need to understand our why and know our purpose. In other words, as Simon Sinek encourages, Start with Why. If we don’t know why we want to change a habit, we probably won’t be successful. It must be inward driven.
Solomon, a man with great wisdom, wrote, “The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” Proverbs 20:5, ESV
When we know our why and understand it, and we pull it out of the depths of our hearts and minds, we will stay motivated. It’s personal. Plus, knowing our purpose helps prepare us for the obstacles that will come.
2. Prepare for Obstacles
We can be sure that when we want to form a new habit, those ugly obstacles start showing up. Personally, I think our enemy, the Devil, is behind these barriers. For example, during the first week of my November New Challenge, I experienced a few obstacles such as being tired and not having any ideas until the 11th hour. The temptation to just forget about writing that day was strong.
The Devil attacks our minds and our bodies when we have decided to make a positive change and especially if that decision is God-driven too. The Devil hates when we obey God and pursue our assignments from and for God.
Expect Temptations
Today, I am writing after a long day of work with a fever! Yep, my body is now being physically attacked. Do you know how easy it would be to make excuses? “I’m sick! I need to rest. I can’t write today.” Temptations to quit are real when forming new habits.
But God says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV
How do we recognize the way of escape? We need to prepare for obstacles ahead of time. I knew in the month of November with four grandchildren, that the possibility of getting germs passed to me would increase. I determined at the onset of this challenge that no matter what, I would write daily for God.
Fever, tired, no ideas, I was prepared. I had determined at the beginning; I would fulfill my writing assignments daily. It’s not been easy. In fact, it’s been hard. It’s not just the first five minutes either, it’s in the 11th hour too.
So, while a fever may seem like a good reason to give into the temptation to quit, it’s not really. God has already determined with me that we would write together every single day this November.
3. Be Compassionate with Ourselves
New Habits take time, effort, consistency, and commitment to form. And I know it’s an individual journey. I don’t buy into the idea that it only takes 21 days to form a habit.
No Alcohol
Back in February of this year, I decided to quit drinking all alcohol for my health. I enjoy red wine. But my body and brain don’t do so well with even one glass of wine. Those sulfites get me every time.
I started learning more about the harm of alcohol on our guts and brain, and I saw in my own test results certain numbers negatively changed when I allowed myself to drink red wine last Christmas and in January 2023 after not drinking for four months.
I determined I was not going to drink red wine or any alcohol for that matter. Now I prepared for the obstacles, like at celebrations and even just wanting a glass or red wine at the end of days. I prepared by not having any red wine in my house, and I actively shared with others that I had given up drinking for my health.
I don’t have a problem with alcohol, but I did experience on several occasions it was hard to say no. That’s when I was compassionate with myself.
No Caffeine
Same goes with giving up caffeine in May. Yes, I did. Well, most caffeine. I still eat chocolate occasionally.
Turns out caffeine is not so good for my body either. But I planned for this new habit. I knew I would get a headache the first couple of days. I let myself take a nap after work. And I indulge in a fantastic new “clean” coffee called Fabula. This coffee has no chemicals, no mold, no toxins, low-acid, organic, no GMO. This is me being compassionate to myself.
Three Steps to Form New Habits
New habits are hard to form. It takes time to form new healthy habits. Be kind to yourself. Be gentle. Don’t give up. Plus, don’t believe the lies that we can form a new habit in 21 days, 30 days, or 60 days. It’s all so individual and depends on what new habit we are trying to form. We need to know our purpose, prepare for obstacles, and be compassionate with ourselves when we are forming new healthy habits.
Blessing
May you be compassionate with yourself. May you trust in the Lord to help you stay committed, consistent, and motivated. May the Lord Himself clear the path forward as you create new healthy habits.
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